Turnabout is Fair Play
by Dark Jedi Princess
Summary: Anubis has discovered Alchemy and knows how to utilize it against the Taur'i. So when SG1 goes to P7C983, and hears mention of it from the natives, they can't help but investigate… Crossover with Full Metal Alchemist, no slash. 6 Nov.: Chapter 2
1. Prologue: Infiltration

**Disclaimer:**_ Stargate SG-1_ belongs to Roland Emmerich, Dean Devlin, Jonathan Glassner, and Brad Wright. _Full Metal Alchemist _(_Hagane no Renkinjutsushi_) belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. I own the plotline. :)

**Author's Note: **I know for a FACT that this is not done very often. I've only found one so far, and it was a parody. I know of another that's being planned out. This is the third. It's almost completely serious. I hope you all enjoy, and remember, no flames (flamers WILL be reported for abuse), but constructive crits welcome. :) Normally my beta-reader is Ael L. Bolt, but since she hasn't seen FMA yet, Damos Taranth betaed for me this time. Many thanks to him. :)  
**:Dark Jedi Princess:**

**QUOTE TYPES:**

"Normal"  
"_Over a radio/intercom/telephone_"  
_Thoughts_  
Stressed Words  
**Written Words**

**Title:** "Turnabout is Fair Play"  
**Author:** Dark Jedi Princess  
**Category:** Stargate SG-1/Full Metal Alchemist/Crossovers  
**Rating:** PG-13/T  
**Reasons:** Language, Violence  
**Summary:** Anubis has discovered Alchemy and knows how to utilize it against the Taur'i. So when SG-1 goes to P7C-983, and hears mention of it from the natives, they can't help but investigate…

_**Turnabout is Fair Play**__**  
Prologue: Infiltration**_

Daniel stumbled as the floor of Anubis's flagship suddenly lurched, as though it were a carpet that had just been pulled up and shaken out. Jack rushed up to Daniel and hoisted him to his feet before the pair continued running.

Behind them, Sam stood watching in awe as Anubis drew another circle on the wall and touched it, sending the electric blue sparks along the wall and towards Jack and Daniel. Several chunks fell out of the wall, narrowly missing Daniel and Jack.

"Major Carter! We must leave!" Teal'c called, grabbing Sam's arm. The two ran, following Jack and Daniel to the 'Gate Room on board Anubis's flagship. They quickly dialled back home and leapt through the Stargate just as several Jaffa entered the room, tumbling out of the other side and landing in an exhausted heap in the Embarkation Room at the SGC.

"Close the Iris! Get a medical team in here!" Hammond commanded over the loudspeaker. He rushed out to the 'Gate Room. "What happened?"

"Anubis…" Sam muttered as the Stargate deactivated. "He caught us… used some sort of…" She took in a deep breath. "I don't know what it was…"

"Get them to the infirmary right away," Hammond told the medics as they entered the 'Gate Room. The medics nodded an lifted each member of SG-1 onto stretchers.

"Sir," Daniel groaned. "I'm not sure… but I think Anubis… was using Alchemy on us…"


	2. Chapter 1: P7C983

**_Turnabout is Fair Play_**_**  
Chapter 1: P7C-983**_

"Ladies and gents, SG-1 bids you welcome to P-seven-C-niner-eight-three, where the sun is…"—Jack squinted—"blindingly bright today. We hope you enjoyed your trip through the Stargate and that you will travel with us again soon."

"Very funny, sir," Sam said, adjusting her backpack.

"There appears to be no-one present," Teal'c noted.

"Stargate's practically overgrown, too," Sam added.

"But there is a road," Daniel said, pointing said road out.

"Let's follow it then," Jack suggested. "Maybe we'll actually find someone."

"What a concept," Sam joked.

The road, as it turned out, led into a nearby town. When they entered the town, several people gave them frightened looks, but otherwise ignored them.

"This place kinda reminds me of Central Europe just before World War I," Daniel noted, softly, as they passed a small bakery.

Jack looked around and caught sight of a young man lingering near them. "Excuse me," he said to the young man.

"Yessir? Can I help you?" The boy responded politely, while simultaneously stealing suspicious glances at SG-1's uniforms.

"We're wondering, what's this place called?"

"The town, or the country?"

"…Both."

"Our country's called Amestris. The town is Hiamunn."

"Thanks kid."

"Are you guys Alchemists?"

"Pardon?" Daniel said.

"Are you guys Alchemists?" The boy repeated.

"No, we're not," Daniel said, carefully.

"Aww. We had a couple of Alchemists pass through here a few days ago."

Sam snorted. "Alchemy doesn't work."

"What? Where've you been?" The boy said, disdainfully. "It's worked for a few centuries at least."

"Sam," Daniel said, pointedly, "he may have used Alchemy against us."

Sam looked doubtful. "I dunno, Daniel… That could've been anything."

"You said a pair of Alchemists passed through here?" Daniel said, taking out his notepad. "What were their names?"

"They're the Elric Brothers! Haven't you heard of them?" Daniel shook his head. "They're famous! One's a State Alchemist, but he isn't a dog of the military like the others! He tries to help people!"

"State Alchemist?" Daniel asked.

"'Dog of the military'?" Jack added, sounding slightly offended.

"…You guys aren't from Amestris, are you?"

"No, we're not," Daniel admitted. "Mind explaining?"

"A State Alchemist is an Alchemist who works for the military. The military controls everything here in Amestris. Lots of people believe that State Alchemists have sold their souls to the state for the privileges, so they call them 'dogs of the military'."

"But Elric's not?" Daniel asked.

"Nope! He tries to help people, so he didn't sell his soul!"

"What's his first name, do you know?"

"Edward. His brother is Alphonse."

"What do they look like?"

"One's short and blond, and the other one wears a suit of armour. It's hard to tell which is which, though, so you'll have to ask."

"The difference seems pretty obvious, how is it difficult?"

"Well, Edward's military name is 'Full Metal Alchemist', so… some people think he's the suit of armour. But it could be the blond."

"Where do we find them?"

"They're probably in Udor, the next town over. Follow that road, you'll get there eventually. Although I don't know if you'll get there in time."

"Alright, thanks." Daniel turned back to the rest of SG-1.

"Daniel—" Jack began.

"Jack, I think this is worth looking into."

"Why!" Jack asked, incredulously.

"Think about it, Jack. We never succeeded at Alchemy, but if these people have, we could find out what we did wrong and fix it. The people here seem to have weaponized it as well, and we could too!"

"But Alchemy doesn't work!" Sam protested.

"Will you think outside the box for once, Sam!" Daniel growled, frustrated.

"Carter," Jack said, "Daniel's right. We could use this stuff."

"But sir—!"

"Carter, we're going to find these… Erlic brothers—"

"Elric," Daniel corrected.

"Whatever. We're going to find these Elric brothers and see what we can learn from them."

* * *

Almost two days later, SG-1 had found their way to Udor and were currently staying the night at the least expensive inn they could find. At the moment they were down in the tavern, getting some food and talking. 

"This is pointless," Sam said, through gritted teeth, not paying attention to her food.

"What now, Carter?" Jack asked, throwing down his fork.

"Alchemy doesn't work, this is pointless," Sam growled softly.

"You're wrong," Daniel muttered.

"Why do you have to believe everything you're told by the natives?" Sam asked, scornfully.

"Why do you have to be so sceptical!" Daniel demanded, angrily. "What if it does work here? What if we just missed something when we tried it? It's been centuries since our last attempt at Alchemy, Sam!"

"Hush, Mulder and Scully, I think we're attracting attention," Jack cautioned, half-joking.

A few of the tavern patrons were indeed staring at them. Daniel grinned sheepishly.

"You guys aren't from around here, are you?" A voice asked.

"Ed, don't bother them, you know how much you hate it when other people bother you about—" A second, more child-like voice said.

"Oh, come on, Al, they were having an interesting argument. Debating about whether Alchemy works or not." The first voice laughed. Daniel turned in the direction of the voices and spotted a young man with long, braided blond hair and yellow eyes, dressed in all black except for his red coat and white gloves, leaning casually against the back of his chair. Across from him was…a suit of armour?

"So," the blond said, "what makes you think Alchemy doesn't work, lady?"

Sam looked somewhat surprised. "Well, when our people tried to do it, we couldn't accomplish anything."

"And what makes you think it does?" He asked, turning to Daniel.

"Mostly a belief that, after everything the four of us have seen, anything is possible," Daniel answered.

The blond boy laughed, while the suit of armour groaned softly. "Hate to break it to ya, lady, but your friend is right. Alchemy works," the blond stated.

"Come on, Ed, leave them alone," the suit of armour begged.

Sam looked stunned by the blond's statement. "How do you know? You could be being led on by your government."

"Ha! Not likely, considering I'm a State Alchemist."

"You're a State Alchemist?" Daniel said. "…Wait a sec… Is your last name Elric?"

"Yeah, what of it? Have you heard of us?"

"From the next town over, we've been looking for you. Which one are you, Edward or Alphonse?"

"Edward. Al's the suit of armour."

"…Well that clears that up. I'm sorry about Sam, she's pretty much always been this sceptical."

"Nah, s'ok. There's got to be a few non-believers out there," Edward said, smiling. "Where're you all from?"

"Earth."

"…."

"Where's that?" Alphonse inquired.

"…Different planet, from our measurements… maybe 3,000 Lightyears away?" Sam said.

"A different planet? Hah. Well that explains a lot, although I'm not sure I believe it," Edward said. "So, do I need to demonstrate some Alchemy for you guys to straighten you up?"

"Nah, it's just her," Jack said. "I'm Colonel O'Neill, by the way."

"Colonel? You with the military on your homeworld?"

"US Air Force. So's Major Carter over here." Jack jabbed his thumb at Sam.

"And you guys?"

"Dr. Daniel Jackson, I'm a civilian who works with the military," Daniel said. "This is Teal'c."

"Does the military have control of everything on your homeworld?"

"No, our government's a Democracy," Jack said. "Supposedly," he added in an undertone.

"Why were you looking for us?" Edward asked, dragging his chair over to their table so that the back of the chair was facing the rest of SG-1 and sitting down, hands resting on the back of the chair. Alphonse followed suit.

SG-1 looked at each other. "Uh… we're in somewhat of a predicament, we thought you might be able to help," Daniel said.

"What sort of predicament?" Edward asked, cautiously.

"Well, see, we're fighting this guy named Anubis," Jack said. "Kind of an over-the-top, clichéd bad guy. Echo-y voice. Big, black cloak. Anyway, our mission was to infiltrate and hopefully disable his flagship, but we got caught."

"His Jaffa—they're like foot-soldiers, kinda—were about to deal with us when he tells them to let him do it. We get up and start to run. He draws something on the floor, touches it, and the floor kinda… lurches, like when you lift up a rug and shake it out," Daniel continued, softly.

"Daniel tripped, I picked him up and we ran," Jack said.

"Then he draws something on the wall," Sam said hoarsely, "and touches that. Pieces of the wall, large pieces, fall out, just beside Daniel and Jack. They barely missed them."

"I thought it was Alchemy, but the others wouldn't believe me…" Daniel said, softly. "After all, if you can turn lead into gold with Alchemy, you can probably make the floor rubbery enough to lurch like that, or make pieces of the wall fall out on top of someone."

"Yep. I've done the former myself and seen the latter," Edward said. "That was definitely Alchemy."

"Then maybe you can help us," Daniel said. "We need to know how to fight this. Anubis has too many advantages over our people, this is just one more thing he can beat us with."

Edward took in a deep breath. "Well, I don't see why not… We were looking for something, but we can head back to Central now and ask Mustang for special permission to let you guys into the library."

"Why can't we go in there on our own?"

"Only State Alchemists are allowed in, that's why."

"…Fair enough. But, we need to report back to General Hammond first," Daniel said. "You should come with us, see how we got here."

"I was gonna say, if you guys are from a different planet that's 3,000 lightyears away…" Alphonse said, trailing off.

Edward stood up. "We'll go tomorrow. I need sleep."

* * *

**A/N:** Once again, thanks to my Beta, Damos Taranth. :) Chapter 2 is coming soon!  



	3. Chapter 2: Central City

**A/N:** The discussion of the characters' history is for those who are not entirely familiar with the characters. I know it's going slow right now, but trust me, the pace will pick up. :) Enjoy! –-**DJP**

_**Turnabout is Fair Play  
Chapter 2: Central City**_

"Star-wha?" Edward said, a fork halfway to his mouth.

The group was camped off the road between Udor and Biamunn. The sun was setting rapidly, casting a red-orange glow on their surroundings.

"The Stargate," Sam repeated. "It's how we got here."

"I got that, but what is it?"

"A large, metal ring," Jack quipped.

Sam laughed. "It forms a wormhole between two active Stargates, which allows for instantaneous travel between two worlds that may be thousands of lightyears apart."

"So that's how you got here?" Alphonse asked. "Even though your homeworld is so far away?"

"Yeah."

"You'll see it soon," Daniel said. "We'll show you how it works then."

"'Kay." Edward promptly resumed eating.

"So, uh… how old are you, Ed?" Jack asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"You just… seem young. For a soldier."

"Was that a comment on my height!" Edward snapped.

"No!" Jack said hastily.

Edward eyed him beadily for a moment, then said, "I'm sixteen. Al's fifteen."

"Sixteen!" Sam exclaimed. "But… you have to be eighteen to join the US military!"

"We're not in the US, Sam," Daniel noted. "The rules are probably different here."

"Not really," Edward said. "I was just an exception."

"But why?" Sam asked. "Why would the military recruit a child?"

"Hey! I'm not a kid!" Edward protested.

"The law on Earth says you are. Anyone under the age of eighteen is a child."

"If you'd gone through everything we've been through, at the age we'd gone through it, you wouldn't consider yourself a child either," Edward said, quietly but firmly.

"How do you mean?" Sam asked.

Edward hesitated, glancing warily at Alphonse.

"Brother, they told us about their situation," Alphonse said. "It's only fair…"

"Right. Equivalent Exchange." Edward set down his bowl of Macaroni and Cheese and shrugged off his coat. He also pulled off his left boot and pulled the leg of his trousers up before removing his over shirt.

Sam gasped as she saw his metallic false limbs. Daniel's mouth was slightly open.

"Holy shit," Jack muttered.

Teal'c didn't react at all.

"How…?" Daniel began.

"This is why they call me the Full Metal Alchemist," Edward said, quietly, staring at them resolutely. "When Al and I were 9 and 10, our mother died of an illness she contracted shortly after our father left. We vowed to bring her back to life and started training in Alchemy. When we finished, we returned home and attempted a human transmutation."

"Did it work?" Sam asked.

"No. Al lost his entire body and I lost my left leg. I gave my right arm to seal Al's soul to this"—he tapped Alphonse's armour with his left hand—"suit of armour. Even with what the two of gave up, what we brought back wasn't human. It… it wasn't our Mom."

"Oh my God…" Sam said, quietly.

"So when'd you get…?" Jack asked.

"The Auto-Mail? A couple of days later. It's not an easy procedure to go through: it's painful, and the rehabilitation process is slow. It took me a year to fully recuperate. After that, Al and I burned down our house and set off to Central City so we could take the State Alchemist exam."

"Why did you burn down your house?"

"Because we knew we wouldn't need a place to go back to, since… since we were looking to restore our bodies to their original state. It's still human Alchemy, though, so if we fail, we'll probably die."

"Ed was twelve when he passed the exam," Alphonse continued. "They wouldn't let me take it, though, and neither would Ed. We started looking for the Philosopher's Stone after that."

"Philosopher's Stone…?" Daniel began. "Isn't that…"

"A substance that allows you to bypass to Laws of Alchemy and enhances transmutations," Edward finished for him.

"A man named Nicholas Flamel tried to create it on Earth," Daniel said. "I…don't think he succeeded."

"The Philosopher's Stone requires human lives in order to make a complete version of it. That's probably by he failed."

"Why are you looking for it if it requires human lives to make?"

"Because we've come too far to give up now," Edward said, quietly. He picked up the bowl and began eating again.

"What about your mother?" Sam asked.

"Mom…is now the Homunculus known as Sloth," Edward said, still quietly. "There were seven. Now there are six. I killed Greed. The Rest are still lurking."

"Sloth…and Greed?" Daniel muttered.

"Yep. I've meet Lust, Envy, and Gluttony as well. Oh, and Wrath. He's got the limbs I lost."

"The Sins…" Daniel muttered. "They're named after the Seven Deadly Sins…"

"Pardon?"

"The Seven Deadly Sins are the worst Sins a person can commit, according to Christian Mythology. An interesting connection between our worlds…" He looked up at Edward. "What about Pride, or Vanity?"

"I haven't met that one yet. At least, I don't think I have." Edward sighed. "Enough about me and Al, though. What about you guys? And I'm not just talking about what you do now, I mean you, personally."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Alchemy is about Equivalent Exchange," Edward explained. "I've revealed pretty much all of my past to you guys, so now it's your turn."

SG-1 remained silent for a moment. Jack cleared his throat.

"Uh, before this whole thing started… I had a wife and a kid back home. Just before my first mission through the Stargate, my son…" He swallowed. "My son accidentally shot himself with my gun. I never really forgave myself for it. I went on the first Stargate mission because I thought it would be suicide. But then Danny here saved my life and the lives of my soldiers and… I dunno. I didn't feel like killing myself anymore. I went back home and retired again, only to be brought back again by General Hammond. I've been in command of SG-1 ever since."

Edward nodded. "Sorry to hear about your kid…"

"That was eight years ago," Jack said, shrugging. "I don't really dwell on it anymore."

"What about you, Dr. Jackson?" Alphonse asked.

"Me? Uh, well, I'm an archaeologist, anthropologist, linguist, and historian. I have a PhD in linguistics and archaeology. My parents died when I was eight. They were… crushed by the coverstone of an exhibit they were setting up at a museum. I was recruited to the Stargate program to translate some symbols on the coverstone they found with the Stargate. I figured out that the symbols were ideograms representing constellations, not words, and we were able to get the Stargate working. I went with Jack to Abydos on the first mission, but stayed behind with my wife and her people. A year later, she and her brother, Skaara were kidnapped by Apophis and implanted with Goa'uld parasites. I joined SG-1 right after that. Now they're both dead. I think I've died… nine times, is it?"

"Sounds right," Jack said, lightly.

"Yeah, nine times and managed to come back thanks to sarcophagi, Nox healing powers, Ascension, and various and sundry other methods. It'll probably happen again, too."

"Danny's a death magnet," Jack quipped.

"Hush, Jack. So, yeah, that's pretty much it about me."

Edward nodded. "Major?"

Sam blinked. "Me?"

"Yeah. Tell me about yourself."

"Oh, well… I have a PhD in astrophysics… I graduated top of my class from the US Air Force Academy…. My mother died in a car accident, and my father nearly died of Cancer. He's now host to a Tok'ra symbiote named Selmak. I derived the SGC's dialling program… Uh…" She laughed. "Most of the guys I've dated have died. I have a brother named Mark. I once blew up a star to destroy a Goa'uld fleet." The rest of SG-1 laughed at this. "Oh, and I've been possessed by aliens at least once, and I've flown in an inter-stellar race. I think that's everything note-worthy."

"Teal'c, your turn," Jack said. Teal'c cast him an odd look, then turned to Edward.

"I was once First Prime in service to Apophis. My father was First Prime to the System Lord Cronus before he was killed for failing his master."

"How'd you meet these three?" Edward asked.

"They were captured on my homeworld of Chulak. I helped to free them and betrayed Apophis."

"He was hard to kill," Jack noted. "Apophis, that is. First we blew him up, then we let him die in our own infirmary, then Carter blew up that star to destroy his fleet, then his ship crashed spectacularly on another planet. We're ninety-nine percent sure he's dead now."

"Did you have family on Chulak?" Alphonse asked Teal'c.

"A wife, Drey'auc, and a son, Rya'c. Drey'auc is dead. Rya'c is swiftly becoming a skilled warrior."

Edward nodded.

"Why did the military here accept you at such a young age? That's not standard procedure, is it?" Sam asked.

"Like I said, I was an exception. I helped save a train that had been hijacked. The train had an important army General on it, and he heard about what I did and allowed me to take the test. I passed because I can transmute without a circle. They thought it would be an asset."

It was fully dark now. Edward reached into the right pocket of his trousers and pulled out a silver pocket watch, opening it and checking the time.

"Wow, it's gettin' pretty late," he said, closing the watch with a snap. "We'd better get some sleep."

* * *

SG-1, Edward, and Alphonse rose early the next morning and continued down the road to Biamunn. The journey passed mostly in awkward silence. Last night's conversation had been very telling. Sam, in particular, had been disturbed by Edward's and Alphonse's troubled past. 

Around midday, they arrived back at the Stargate. They had almost passed it before Jack stopped them.

"Here we go," he said. "The Stargate."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Are all of them this overgrown?"

"No, you guys just haven't been using yours," Jack said. "Now, where's the DHD…?"

"I'd say it's that large lump of vines there," Daniel said, pointing to said lump of vines, which was a few feet off to the side of the Stargate.

Edward grinned, ran over to the lump of vines, clapped his hands together, then touched the vines. There was a flash of blue light, and the vines shredded, revealing the DHD. "This what you're looking for?" He said, jabbing his thumb at the DHD.

"Yeah, what did you do?"

"Just shredded up the vines with Alchemy," Edward said, shrugging.

Daniel moved over to the DHD and examined it, looking for the Point of Origin symbol. He found it quickly: it was a lion-esque symbol near the bottom of the device. Daniel glanced at Edward.

"Looks like the King's crest," Edward said, pulling out his pocket watch and showing the front of it to Daniel. The same symbol was carved into the front, on top of a hexagram. Daniel nodded, and pressed the first symbol in Earth's address.

"Watch closely, you may have to do this yourself," Daniel said as he pressed the rest of the symbols in the address and then the Point of Origin. He then put his hand on the orange orb in the centre of the DHD. The Stargate activate, and Daniel moved closer to the shimmering blue event horizon.

"General Hammond, sir!" Jack said, through the radio strapped to his vest. "This is Colonel O'Neill!"

There was a slight pause.

"_Colonel O'Neill_?" Hammond's voice said over the radio.

"Yessir."

"_Where have you been? You've been gone for four days!_"

"Well, sir, we found something that might be useful."

"_Is that so?_"

"Yessir. The people here have weaponized Alchemy."

"Also, we know what Anubis used against us on that mission," Daniel said.

"_Let me guess… Alchemy?_"

"Yep. We went looking for a State Alchemist we heard about in the nearest town. It's a couple of days' walk between towns and he was in the next town over, so that's why we've been gone for so long."

"_Is this State Alchemist with you now?_"

"Yessir."

"_May I speak to him?_"

"Sure."

Teal'c handed Edward his radio. Edward awkwardly pressed the button on the side. "General…Hammond, was it?"

"_This is he. What's your name, son?_"

"Edward Elric, sir, the Full Metal Alchemist. You wanted to speak to me, sir?"

"_Yes I did. Tell me about Alchemy, Mr. Elric._"

"Well, sir, Alchemy is the science of understanding the structure of matter, deconstructing it, then reconstructing as something else. You can do lots of things with it, like making weapons from soil, or even sand. Pretty nifty if you're in a pinch. There are laws, though. For instance, the Law of Equivalent Exchange: to obtain, something of equal value must be lost."

"_Sounds useful… Is there anyway we could trade for information on it? Books, or something?_"

"Sure, I could arrange that. I was going to take SG-1 back to Central to meet my commanding officer, anyway, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

"_So what's the plan, SG-1_?"

"Ed was going to take us to Central City, like he said," Jack said. "We were going to talk to his CO, see if we can borrow some books from the library. Or go through them while we're there."

"That would take months, Colonel, and I'll assume you don't have that time," Edward said. "I'll get Mustang to lend them to you guys."

"_I don't want you doing anything against the rules to help us, Mr. Elric_," Hammond said.

"We don't have much of a choice, General," Jack said.

"_Very well. Do you think you can do this in a week?_"

"Sure, it only takes a few hours to get to Central via train," Edward said. "We won't be there very long."

"_Then you have a go. Godspeed, SG-1._"

"Thank you, sir. See you in a few days."

* * *

"Well, everything seems to be going smoothly so far," Edward said, slumping down in the train seat. 

"So far. But then Murphy's Law has a nasty habit of ruining everything," Jack said.

"I'm not familiar with that one," Edward said, glancing at Jack.

"'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.'"

"Greeeat."

"And then there's Daniel's Law: 'All trouble, no matter what form, gravitates towards SG-1.'"

Edward laughed. "I'm going to assume that was a joke."

"Actually… no."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Well, let's hope that it won't apply here."

Quite abruptly, two of the other passengers on the train stood up and brandished a pair of pistols. "Hands over your heads! NOW!"

"Shit," Jack swore. "Figures." He removed his P90 and set it on the floor. The rest of SG-1 did the same. Edward and Alphonse raised their hands in a gesture of surrender.

"Don't try anything stupid," one of the men hissed.

"Wasn't going to," Edward said. He promptly leapt into the air and delivered a flying kick to the man's stomach. Alphonse grabbed the other one and flipped him onto the floor. "Great. Another hijacking," he muttered. "Well, let's go ahead and deal with this."

Sam stared at the unconscious hijackers. "Guys… these people are Goa'uld."

"What?"

"They're Goa'uld, I can sense it…" When Edward stared at her strangely, she explained, "I was once host to a Tok'ra symbiote, and they leave behind a protein marker that allows me to use Goa'uld devices and to be able to sense the Goa'uld."

"I see… Well, no sense wasting time, let's get rid of these people. We need to retake the Communications Room so I can contact Colonel Mustang."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll split up. I'll take two of you up topside, Al will take the other two through the train to take the communications room."

"Topside," Jack said, picking up his P90. "As in, on top of the train?"

"Yep."

"…I'm always up for a bit of train-walking," Sam grinned.

"Me too," Daniel said.

"Then you two can come with me. Colonel, Teal'c, you guys go with Al. We'll meet you in communications after we take the engine car."

"Gotcha."

Edward climbed up on a train seat and pulled himself up through the car's emergency exit. Daniel and Sam followed suit. They wobbled a bit in the slipstream, but soon regained their footing. As quickly as they could, they worked their way across the train and towards the engine car. One of the hijackers stuck his head out of another car and fired at them. Sam drew her Zat'nik'tel and fired once at him, knocking him back down.

"Cool weapon, what's it called?" Edward asked.

"A Zat'nik'tel, Zat for short. One shot stuns, two shots kill, three shots disintegrate."

"Right. Let's get going." They continued on their way, finally arriving at the engine car. Edward swung in through one window, kicking one of the hijackers in the head as he did so. Sam and Daniel followed suit, Zat-ing the other hijackers.

"_Communications is secure, Major,_" Jack said over the radios.

"Roger that, sir, we've just secured the engine," Sam said, breathlessly. "Let's go," she called to Edward and Daniel.

They arrived in the communications room, and Edward rushed to one of the phones, picked up the receiver, and hastily dialled a number. There was a moment's pause, then he spoke. "This is Major Elric. I need to speak to Colonel Mustang." Another pause. "Colonel. It's Ed. Ran into a problem on the train."

"_What sort of problem_?" A deep voice said.

"Hijackers."

"_Are they dealt with?_"

"Yeah. Need some soldiers to come and pick them up when we get to Central."

"_Can do. I'll see you at Central Station._"

Edward hung up. "Everything's taken care of."

"Good." Jack nudged one of the stunned hijackers. "Goa'uld hijackers… Why do I get feeling Anubis was behind this?"

* * *

Central station was swarming with soldiers when they arrived. Many were wearing black uniforms, while some wore dark blue. Edward, Alphonse, and SG-1 stood beside the tied up hijackers, looking around the station warily. Edward glanced to the left, then shouted, "Mustang! Over here!" 

Jack turned in the direction Edward was shouting and spotted a young man with short black hair and eyes, dressed in a blue military uniform. He was flanked by a young woman with blond hair and red eyes, and a tall man with spiky blond hair, smoking a cigarette. The three approached them.

"Nice job, Ed," The black-haired man said, in a familiar deep voice. "Can't say I anticipated this one…"

"You owe me for this, Mustang," Edward said, sourly.

"Sneaky, Ed, very sneaky. Who're these four?"

"This is SG-1. They're offworlders."

"Offworlders?" Colonel Mustang looked surprised. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Jack stepped forward. "Colonel Jack O'Neill, from the planet Earth," he said, offering his hand.

"Colonel Roy Mustang," Roy said, shaking Jack's hand. "Interesting… you don't look very alien."

"We get that a lot," Jack responded. "This is Major Sam Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, and Teal'c." He pointed at each one in turn.

"Any particular reason you guys decided to show up here in Central?"

"We were hoping for a…trade, of sorts," Jack said. "Information on Alchemy for some of our technology, perhaps."

Roy laughed. "I think that can be arranged. Follow me back to my office, we'll talk. Hawkeye!"

"Yessir!" The blond woman said.

"See to it that these guys are dealt with," Roy said, gesturing at the hijackers.

"Sir!" Hawkeye snapped into a salute before gesturing to some black uniformed soldiers to come with her.

"Follow me," Roy said, and with that, they left for Military Headquarters.

* * *

**A/N:** Switched Beta-readers. Thankies to Ael L. Bolt this time. 

Go see the cover art at my deviantART account! (username is darkjediprincess) **--DJP**


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